never thought i'd see the day

WOW. i'm never the type to start shit, nor am i one to get myself into pointless drama. all i have to say is i didn't do shit. honestly, i don't even know how it got to this, like what the fuck started all this? haha foreall, can somebody tell me what's wrong cus this shit came out of nowhere for me real talk. all i know is i'm playin my cards cause you threw them at me. it's all whatever to me, i don't even know what happened.

<3

easter, already?!

hahaha damn, haven't B-L-O-G-G-E-D in years! two weeks almost? thats pretty long. hmm but let's see, some things that i guess i need to update you guys on . first let's get the same old boring stuff out of the wway, work and school. schools been ariight, getting good results from all my classes! i got the highest grade on my last speech, wooot wooooooot, and i'm feelin good about the papers and tests i've been turning in. BUT i hella have to start on this food diary thang and study for my human development test on tuesday. bout to get on that after this. AND i have to start research for my next speech on sex education in schools asdf;lkjjjf. whatevvs, aside from school, works been pretty fun. at levi's sherell made me in charge of all the visual stuff (mannikens [sorry i can't spell] and how the store looks) and matsuri has been getting a lot better as far as me picking up the speed. so hurrayyy for school and work! hella on top of my shitt.

other things coming up, my muthhhhafudgin birthday is in a couple hours, beootch! yayyyyyy! hella have nothing planned though, but tomorrow my momma and daddy wanna have a little barbecue dinner thing with the family, so there's a small thing but idk what else i'm gonna do? kick back?! dinners?!? partyyy!?!??! idk, maybe i'll just be boring this year and not have anything. who knows though, maybe something'll go down. i'll update you guys if there is =)

let's see what else, choirs been good. had a couple solos this past week since it is holy week and today's mass was very enlightening. the choir looked supper saucy in white though hahaaha cute. practice this thursday at auntie amy's house, looking forward to that.

annd other than that, that's pretty much it. OH YEAH, hella on twitter and twilight now thats to britt, boo, and em. i love you guys =) ooo daddddddddddddy hahaha

and i think that's pretty much it? yeahh, that's it.

have a good day!

P.S. oh yeahh, hella forgot about YOU. i miss youu punk =P mmmuahs.

aries baby.

AMAAAAZING. i'm feeling pretty damn good about things right now. soooo much stuff goin on in my life, and i'm lovin it. let's see, school started again today and i'm sooo glad that i had that week of spring break to get myself together. a few kick backs here and there, but majority of the time i was having a lot of "me" time, thinking about things and how things should be, and now i'm back on track doin it gooooooood =) started school off hella dope, 97 on my last bio exam and i'm pretty sure did good on my lab practical, and i just now finished my english essay. let's start this second half the semester good, yeah? YEAH!


so some new things in my life. met up with nay nay last thursday to listen to some beats she composed and we had a writing session for a good 5 hours. just sat, listened to her pieces and i wrote whatever came to me. worked on this one song, got 2 verses and the chorus to it, but it's definitely not close to finished or anything like that. just playing around with things and getting used to just listening and writing. it's really cool, got me all excited when we tried putting stuff together. she made me a CD of some beats that i listen to when i drive, and i sing about whatever i see to myself hahahhaa hella funny. i come up with some good stuff though, kind of =) practice makes perfect!

things this week:

• school tomorrow, then choir practice <3
  
• work wednesday, levi's in the morning then matsuri for dinner
• thursday, school then take francis to san jo. possibly visit vanilla white chocolate strawberry =)))
• friday speech class, then work (on call). then cotti practice i think? then JBHS exhibition.
• saturday, NCBA champs all day probably. maybe stay in stockton afterwards?
• sunday, church. solo for choir, eeeeeeek! then work at matsuri for dinner

busy schedule, but i got the hang of it. in between all that i'm planning on going to the gym, anyone wanna join? OH and hang out with people i haven't seen in a while... call meeeee =)



P.S. my birthday is coming up!!! =D get me something good yeahhhhh?



woot woot, later gaters.

thankyou,

break. i really needed you.
good days ahead!

- happyleonard.

P.S. you, you, you, and yes. even you - call me. let's grab some starbucks and do something spontaneous, yeah? YEAH.

home stretch, baby.

one more day. just one more day until i get a break that i can say i reaaaaally need and deserve. i'm amazed at myself for lasting this past week with all the shit, shit, and more shit i had to do and get done before spring break. working 12 hour days at levi's and matsuri's, stories of war and thematic issues it has on an individual, cramming cell structure + cellular respiration + ATP crap into my brain, developmental stages in young adolescence and childhood, preparing a presentation on childhood obesity, and recently added - a song i need to learn for a solo for mass on sunday, i feel pretty damn accomplished for what i've done so far. i guess you can say this was a taste of what real work is, learning how to really manage your time with school and work, slipping in a nap or two, and still have time to grab a snack and hit the gym in between all of that. it's been tough, but it's coming to an end, FINALLY. a short break in this long career i'm pursuing. i feel like i'm ready though, for anything. but this isn't the first time i've said that, and i know it won't be the last. i've realized i've only hit the surface. this is only my first year - well, not even my whole first year of junior college and i'm just now realizing, like reeeeeally realizing that i have A LOT ahead of me. i'm not afraid though, nor am i overly confident. i'm just gonna keep doing what i'm doing, pushing myself when i need to and challenging myself, finding out what i'm capable of doing with my head held up and eyes forward on the prize that i'm striving for, with a mindset that nothing is impossible. it's tough and it'll continue to be tough, but no one ever said life was easy. it's all a learning experience, you learn everyday about yourself that sometime surprises you. it's all just a part of life, and it's a beautiful thing.

"You live and you learn."

- L.

FML.

it's just too natural with me and who i am =/ maybe its something that shouldn't be changed or tried to be changed if it comes so natural. i guess it's all a part of me learning about myself and how i really handle things in life, what works and what doesn't. i can never hold something against you or in fact, with anybody. i'm too nice. that's how it's always been, and with what i've come to realize, at least for now, that's how it'll always be..

Fuck My Life, just a little bit.

game face time >=(

yikes, mid terms. got heeeeeeeeeeecka crap to do this week and next week before spring break. i think i got it though, i think =/ idk, i'll let you know how that goes. but man oh man, i'm super sore as fooock. gym time this week is peakin', getting everything into shape for that tahitian dance stuff, thanks reah =P about to go again tonight i think with brittbrat, then go home and do as much work as i can do so i have less to cram in next week, and so that i'm KINDA more free this weekend to enjoy it. fuz tomorrow, then vallejo comp on saturday. pretty excited for that. probably the most excitement i'll see these upcoming days. BUT, other than that i'm lovin how things are right now minus boring school and work, sometimes. i'm "smooth sailing in 4th gear" as dale would say =) to keep this short cause i got thaaaangs to do, this week i gotta hustle with school and end this first half of the semester with a bang. i think i'm doing pretty good though, A's and B's from what i remember, I HOPE. so if it seems like i've fallin' off the side of the earth this upcoming week, i didn't. i'm just at home being a boring college student. BUUUUUUUT after these stupid midterms, its on - say hellllllllllo to spring break =DDDD holla holla holla!

"You never know what you've really got till it's gone - whether it was a mistake that you let it go, or a good thing that you lost it."

overandout.

spring is here,

and life is pretty damn grand. fast paced, crazy at times, but good overall. nothing really new, same old stuff - work & school + parties here and there. can't wait till spring break! =) nothing planned concretely, but i know something will happen. parties forsure. but road trip maybe? early birthday bashhh with audrey?!? idk, sucks that it's only a week cus i probably would've been going forsure to SB with fyu, but idk anymore since the trip is planned for the first week of april. we'll see. damn, i'm almost 19... BORING. i'm pretty tired so i'm gonna keep this one short. not very much details about things, but just know i'm doing good and on top of thaaaaangs, like always =P

skadooooodles.



*note to self. TRY TO SAVE YOUR MONEY BITCH, GEEEEEEEEEEEZE!
things to pay off/save for - 1. dale, 2. snow gear for next year, 3. spring/summer clothing, 4. just to have extra $$$.

i'm in love

with music. and i can truly say that with all of my heart and soul, that music is my passion.

since today was the day that i did my speech, which was all about music, i've realized how much i really do take it to heart. it's always been there, through everything. and as corny as it may sound, it's been there since the beginning, guiding me as my life goes on. i don't know, recently i've been really motivated to sing, and i've realized that i sing EVERYDAY for hours at a time, anytime that i'm not doing anything special. it's always there, music just wants to come out of me. i guess me being in choir now, practices on tuesdays and singing on sundays has made my love for music grow even more, and it's moving me into a different part of my life, steering me away from things that might harm my potential. it's really a natural high for me, a high so different from what i've experienced before, a feeling that makes me feel pure and clean. i think with this passion in mind, it could really change me, in a good way of course. i'm gonna stick with what i'm doing now, keeping music as one of my top priorities and see where it'll take me. so nowwwww, i thought i'd share my speech, more or less of what i did this morning, without the minor hiccups and nerves that came along with it =) here it is!

(i had a poster board with a staff, time/key signature, and notes on it)

First, i sang "A Song For You" by Donnie Hathaway, just a quick snippet, then started like this:

Music. Whether it's me singing in the shower for what seems like hours, or back in middle school and high school when i used to play instruments in the school band, or even way back in the day when i used to listen to tunes in the back seat of my parents car, music has always been a part of my life. So when we were assigned this task to find something to symbolize ourselves and our lives, i couldn't think of a better symbol than my passion in life - music. But today i'm not going to talk to you guys about the music that we simply hear on the radio or live singers or bands playing at a club. Instead, i'm going to break down music back to it's basics, how it's written on paper and how it's actually created.

The first symbol that i chose to represent my life is the music staff. In music the staff is the base of all things where all the other elements of music can be found. Without it, it would be pretty hard for any musician to read the notes correctly and accurately. For this reason, i chose the staff to represent... my family. In my life, i like to view my family as the base of all things, the foundation that has allowed me to become who i am today as a person and as a whole. Just as a staff provides a solid structure for notes to create music, my family has provided me with a solid base to build my life upon. They've taught me valuable lessons through their hard work ethics, love, and care, gifts that i will be forever be thankful for for giving to me.

With the staff now in place, other elements of music can be placed on it, which leads me to my next symbols, the time signature and key signature. In music, the time and key signature determine the feel of the music and the notes that it plays, otherwise known as the key. You can think of it sort of being a teacher like figure, telling what notes to be played next and what beat it should lie one. Because of the way the time and key signature controls what the music will sound like, i used it to symbolize myself. In my life, and just as i would imagine other people view their own lives, I like to be the one in control, the one who sets the pace and tone of my life. Some days i would be up and ready to do things, like a steady beat of a march, while other days are more relaxed and soothing, like the laid back feel of the slow waltz. Just as I am in control with my attitdude towards life, the time and key signature determines what mood will be set by the music, which makes these two elements a perfect symbol of me.

Now, with the staff, time signature, and key signature in place music can be created, which leads me to my last symbol, the music notes. The music notes are what makes the sound, and group together they produce what we hear as music. Some may be high, some low, some long or short, while others are fast or slow. Because of the great range of what music notes are capable of being, i related this music element to the experiences i've had in my life and the relationships that i've made with people. Just in the 18 years of my life so far, i've experienced a lot of things that has made me into who i am today. These events can range from the great, happy times, which produces a note that is high and lively, kind of like a theme song that comes on when a super hero appears in a movie, while others are not so great, producing a more sad toned piece that brings out the lower tones in music. It's this whole idea of music notes being so unpredictable that made me relate it to my life. You never know what notes will come next, whether it will be a high one or a low one, whether it'll last for a couple beats or just die out after a sound has been made. All you can really do is learn from it after it's been played to help you prepare for the next note, whatever note that my be.

So all together, the staff, time and key signature, and music notes create music, which ultimately symbolized my life. None of these elements would be able to work without each other, just as i wouldn't be able to be who i am without my family, friends, and experiences that i've gone through. Now i can truly say that music is and will forever be found in my life, and that my life can and will forever be found in music.

<3 leonard.

despite this crappy weather,

things are looking up. slowly, but surely. it's a temporary thing, sacrifices have to be made in order to make things better. is it coldhearted? not at all. you gotta do what you gotta do, and maybe in the end things'll line up and be better than how things used to be.

with that being said, lent is coming up and i got a lot of things in mind of giving up. this whole college lifestyle has caught up with me, REALLY noticing the distractions outside of school that can affect you while you're in school. let's cut some things out of my life for 40 days + 40 nights, things that will make me into a better leonard kevin gonda mothereffin mendoza. time to test myself and give up what i love doing, but shouldn't be doing. let's give it a shot.

things to do:

1. work
2. school
3. school work
4. choir practice
   
5. give up my list of things to give up for lent
   
6. reah's cotti practice
7. fuz maybe, with lent in mind
   
8. work things out with the world
   

much <3,
leonard.

p.s. thanks for understanding, and i really hope that you do.

breaking point.

i need a break from everything, the things that keep bringing me down. and i need to learn how to cope with stupid shit in a better way, because what i'm doing now is not cutting it. when you think you've learned an extremely important lesson in your life, and you realize what you did and feel accomplished for learning something from it, you get hit by another lesson, one just as bad that sort of teaches you that you're never going to live a life without problems or complications. and recently i've been dealing with these problems the wrong way, with momentary escapes from these situations that i know aren't going to fix anything. i'm realizing this now, not for the first time, or even the second. i've realized this over and over again, and i can't seem to understand what i'm doing, until now. it's hard to admit that you're feeling weak or feeling low, the point where you just want everything to pause. but i admit it, i've been feeling pretty low, putting up the front of all fronts for the longest time. i just need a break, from everything. i live my life the way i want to live it, and i watch myself, evaluate what i do and see how i'm doing. i always told myself that if i see myself falling, if i see that what i'm doing isn't right something needs to change, and i've come to realize that maybe it's time for me to change. but to what? who knows. just change. i need to take care of a lot of stuff, with friendships especially, fixing them or cutting them completely off. it's all that negative shit that's bringing me down and i really don't need that right now. i admit i have my faults in that, and i'm sorry. that's all i can say. so with that said, i'm gonna do what i have to do without the fronting, just all real shit. let's try it, and see what lessons this path will teach me.

-leonard.

back on track

finally, finally, FINALLY. i feel normal again. its been a freakin crazy, restless 3 weeks since school started again, and i think i fiiiiiiinally am getting used to everything, i think. well since the start of this week i've been doing pretty good on sleep, and work isnt' too bad except for monday when i called in sick, but since that day i've been feeling really good, no longer sleep deprived or overworked feeling =) like today i even went to the gym! hahahaha working on these boobs again, AND i actually have time to do shit that i need to do instead of taking a nap cause i would be too tired to function or do anything. i knew it was gonna be a rough time getting used to my schedule, but i told yah, i'm doing pretty good with it now.

so update since this weekend, nothing really much. wait nevermined, kinda a lot of stuff haha. on friday went to the crab feed where me, rodney, tim, prado, jessi, her sister, and her mom gave justin and marcus a hard time hahaha well, justin mostly cause idk where the hell marcus would disappear to. we ate hella crab and gave our NEWB server an $18 dollar tip i think, which is a super good tip considering the newbieness of his serving skills was hahaha jk justin. thanks for serving us! after that went home and got some sleep sleep. next morning went with brittanie<3 to the comp in amador valley. got there pretty early so went to this cute little cafe where we talked about our crushes =DDDD fucking brittanie hahahaha i love you. anywhooo, went to the school after for the comp. watched drumline warm up, perform, then waited till the guard went on. the shows were cool. for drumline we still got alot to work on, and the guard's so far is pretty sick. it's still reaaaaally early in the season so it's too early to really judge how everything is going. sometime during that night had a looooooong walk with jason, nick and bernie, gahhhhh. you guys are stupid, but i love you little shits nevertheless. walked back to the comp and watched the rest of the guards. the other guards were sick. i think logan stole the show, crrrrrrrrrazy shit in there. after that went with justin and glenn to get audrey, then went off to chico's partayyyyy. long story short, got f'd up, blah blah blah, the end. next morning had choir where reah had her debut singing the response song. amazing, as always. i really like choir, like really. it gives me an opportunity to practice singing since i wasn't able to take that voice class again this semester. its cool though, all the aunties and uncles are super sick with it hahahha and oh yeah, reahs cool too =) next day, school, which was monday. did a lab. next day, school then went to bethels practice, then choir practice. today, NO SCHOOL yes =) went to the gym, took a nap, then work later at matsuris at 430.

so as you can see, i'm STILL busy, but hey i'm starting to get used to this. i even have time to blog about this crap! some things coming up, school, work, rodriguez comp (maybe), valentines day )=), church, benta's birthday thangg maybe after work, and whatever happens in between all of that. oh yeahh, maybe club on friday, idk yet though. but shooooot, 4 day weekend. you know what that means =D SLEEP TIME!

over and out.

shit happens.

its a scary thought knowing what people are capable of doing, both good and bad. not just good and bad things, i think that's an understatement - from horrible to great things. and this isn't something that happens to just some people, i'm pretty sure everyone in the entire universe has realized this in one point in their lives, some to a degree more than others, that people can do some pretty fucked up things, and of course people are capable of doing the greatest things in life, and i'm one of them, just like you're one of them too. we've all made mistakes and learned from them, that's life. it's no use beating yourself up over the stupid shit you've done, just as long as you've taken something from them, and that you TRY to change from what happened. the change may not happen as quickly as you want it to, or you might even do the same shit again sometime in the future, but the point is that you know what you did and you're taking action for it, whether it's the right action or another not-so-right action that'll lead you to the right answer one day. so before you judge me, or before you judge other people, think about what you've done, cause i'm pretty sure you don't have the cleanest slate out of everyone out there either, homie. i'd put money on that.

- leonard.

holy crap hole,

it's been hecka long since i last bloggededed, my bad. just didn't have time i guess? i've been super busy, FOREAL foreal. here's a quick nasty update.

so i guess i left off with reno? DUDE, shit was hella crackin i swear. definitely will be one of the highlights of this year forsure, i can bet on that. the trip up was cool, lotsa bonding time with my broski, talking about life and how we love it's craziness while em and boo snoozed in the back for the first half =P. reno itself was pretty dope, prepared for em's surpise with her cousin Leo, ate HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLA sushi at Ijji Sushi (all you can eat, bomb ass sushi for 20 bucks), then went to the telly for the surprise with more reno heads. got ripped out of our minds and walked up and down the El Dorado casino haha. next day it was snowing! we made snow angels and retarded snowman/anthill in front of Leo's house haha. check my myspace for pictures. everything was going great except the ride home >=(. to cut things short, it was an 8 hour drive back with an average of 3 mph in the mountains, we put on chains for no reason in a fucking blizzard, had some burger king, and finally got home. so aside from the way home, that weekend was the adventures of all adventures up to date, hands down. i guess the blizzard and getting stuck in the mountains for hella long made it a REAL adventure. I GUESS.

other than that weekend getaway, everything else was pretty boring. work, school. OH OH OH! i got into my bio class =D helllllllla happy that i did. i had to drop my guitar class for that though, but i'm planning on taking it next semester cus i kinda need it for my art credits. so i guess my plan for school is going pretty good! work is starting to pick up for levi's too. more hours, FINALLY. so if you've been wondering why i've been MIA, it's cause i've been at school, work, the gym, or sleeping. i feel reeeeeeeeally productive, but kinda tiring myself out. i'm sure i'll get use to things though, just have to struggle these first few weeks to get a hang of everything. let's see what else..

OH YEAHH, hella random -> small get together at my house. TOTALLY unexpected i swear haha some things led to another and yeah, people over at my house this past saturday. next day spent it with nick and other people at wardlaw, went to jasons house and played with burnie hahaha hella sick. i can't believe the people who did it ACTUALLY did it haha. it's nothing bad, really. and now, back to school and work.

so pretty much this is my whole cycle, school and work during the week, some gym time if i'm not too tired, then random shit on the weekends. nothing really planned for this week. or waiiit, crab feed on friday then bethel's first comp. i'm excited to see whats gonna happen. good luck you guys!

so there it is, the quickest and sloppiest update blog i think i can ever do. things to do this week though as far as stuff for me:

1. read hecka crap for my classes
2. get my FIRST speech for speech class on friday, eeeeeek!
3. crab feed
4. comp
5. practice the songs for choir on sunday
6. work + school
7. visit/chill people i haven't seen for a while =/ ya'll know who you are.

so much to do, so little time. just gotta learn how to manage my time so everyone get's a piece of leonard =) there it is, updated.

shabooopy.

the kick off =)

yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! it's here =D THE WEEKEND, YAYUHHHHHH!

ahhhh i'm so juiced! hopefully everything goes as planned. but before i babble about this weekend, school update - went to speech class this morning, prettttty crackin i have to say. jay, dale, his girl, and some other people are in the class, and the teacher is way the opposite of boring. she's kinda intimidating though, like you can tell she majored in public speaking and talking in general from the way she spoke and carried herself, eeek. it was fun though, did a couple activites with the class and got to know everybody. i felt like i was in highschool again for a minute hahaa. after that, got my books. $320 about? it wasn't as bad i thought it would be. well sonny helped me alot cause he sold me his bio book from last year, which saved me a good 80 bucks. thank you sonnayyy! after that, went back to vallejo and got some buds burger with jay, then got fattened up at my house =)

but enough with that, let's talk about today and the next few days! probably start this whole thing off around 5 later when we "leave for reno", but in reality go to francis' house =X. gotta chill there till around 8, then go to the mall to buy something to wear for the club tonight + pick up britt from her work. after that, off to FUZ where we're celebrating emelene's 21st birthday, happpppppy birthday once again behhb! it'll be fun, like always. i'll make sure its fun ;) THEN we'll probably end the night back at emelene's house, wake up helllllla early, then REALLY leave for reno. from there i'm pretty sure it'll be an avalanche of funnstuff =) leo, em's cousin, has a lot of things planned when we get out there so i'm sure it'll be a good road trip. hopefully the drive up there won't be bad, PLEASE no snowstorms or freakin' tornadoes. gotta leave sunday morning though cause i have work sunday evening. GAHH, so much things to do, so little time. i'm hella excited though, no lie. gotta pack my shit, take a shower, then BOUNCE!

things to bring:

1. underwear
2. wifebeaters
3. v-necks
4. 2 pairs of jeans
5. 2 shirts
6. long sleeves just in case its cold
7. sweats and a sweater
8. jackets
9. shoes
10. socks
    
11. gloves
12. toothbrush
13. toothpaste
14. face wash
15. towel
16. smell goooods
17. money/credit/debit
18. phone + phone charger

i think that's it? if i forget something i'm sure i'll find something along the way to help me out. laterrrrrrr.

bitches.

biology schmology.

gahhhh, school ended pretty CRAPPY. found out that i'm not even forsure in the bio class that i hella signed up for helllllllllllla early cus i didn't sign up for the lab, what the eff. thats the same with a lot of other kids in the class, cause i did not know that we were supposed to sign up for both. i figured if we made it into the lecture class, that means we have a spot in the lab. but it turns out that it works differently. the stupid thing is, there's some people who are signed up for the lab but aren't in the class, which to me doesn't make sense. shouldn't the people who get into the class have garaunteed spot for lab? gahhh so stupid. if i don't get into this class that means my whole plan for the next two years could shift another semester, something i'm reeeeeeally hoping doesn't happen. i'm just gonna go to the labs on monday and thursday and hopefully they put me in, cause i think all the days are waitlisted. stupid bio.

crap.

i am forever late.

so today was the first day of school, woot wooooot =) i was hella excited, woke up around 6:46, called jay to make sure he was awake, to MAKE SURE WE WOULDN'T BE late. BUT like always, we were late. not even just a little late, hellllllla late to the first day of school, again. this happened to me last year, and i'm guessing this'll always happen to me again, forever. here's how my morning went.



got up, made my little protein shake thangg then heated up some chicken bake. got dressed, grabbed all my crap then left my house to get jay at like 7:15. everything was going as planned, so far so freakin good. BUT, while i was waiting out front in jays house, i hella remembered that i forgot to print out my schedule, so i didn't know what room number my english class was at! hella stupid right? so i called jay, ran in his house and tried using his iTouch to pull up my schedule but it didn't work, so we had to wait for his laptop to load which took more than enough time. anyways, i looked up my schedule, read that my room number was 1638, then went to the car and left around 7:40. we got to the highway, hella effin traffic that made us get to school at like 8:15, and our classes started at 8:00 asdf;lkj crap! it was all good though, we were at school so all i had to do was go to class and relax, right? WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG! i go to room 1638 only to find this one dude in there who didn't even know how to speak english lasdf;j;laksjf;lkj. i was like, wtfwtfwtf?!?!! so i ran to the library to double check my class which took another 5 minutes, looked up my shit, and found that the room number was 1637. FREAKIN 1637! i felt sooo dumb at this point, running back to the classroom next to the one i first walked into. to make me feel even MORE of a dumbass, i walked in while the teacher was talking about tardies and absences, hella looking at me while i walked in. gahhh this happened last year too! at this point i wanted to kill myself, or something =/

but from there, everything got better. i sat behind donnelyn and found that hella people i knew were taking the class, MJ, ant, kristin, and jenilla. got out of there in like 20 minutes early, so now i have hella time to kill till bio. i'm waiting with drewsi, dale, and his girl in the computer lab room until jay gets out of his music class. pretty exciting first day, yeah?

things to do though, buy books which i estimated to come up to about $450 and eat out somewhere cus i'm freakin' hungry. i'm pretty juiced that school started. i'm looking forward to a good year though, hopefully i'll be able to balance everything. hopefully this excitement'll last more than just the first week of school so i do better than last semester. time to get back to school mode. well, after this weekend since the first days of class doesn't really count =) wish me luck!

leonard.

my boobs are sore =/

asdf;lkj! my whole upper body is ACHING, yeeouch. it feels good though, well not like "feels good" feel good, but good as in i feel i'm getting my moneys worth for the gym and i'm actually getting somewhere, i think. BUT TELL ME WHY yesterday i weighed myself, and i dropped to 134 when all i've been doing is eating hella meat and eating/drinking these protein stuffs? britt and auntie rem said i should probably slow down on all the cardio stuff and just focus on eating and lifting cause i'm already skinny as fuck. i think i'm gonna do that from now on =) sounds like a plan, mhmmm!

today i was SUPPOSE to go to class for the first time in 2349872 weeks. i decided to drop the class though cause i didn't want such a heavy load this semester. it was the "intermediate voice" class, so it was a hard decision for me to make whether to take it or not but with the schedule i have with work and the other classes, taking that class, which doesn't even count as being transferrable, would just add more stress to my days. so that means no voice classes this semester =/ its okay though! that means i can just practice kareoking more, heyyyyyyy! OH and choir practice with reah, her fambam, and the other church choir members. other than that, today i have work at matsuri's. i thought we were gonna work out this morning, but i hella just woke up and i'm guessing my gym partners are sleeping still too hahh. so now i think i'm gonna cook some eggs and eat the leftover chicken from yesterday, followed by that nasty ass protein shake and protein bar, yummmy.

as for the rest of the week, school officially starts tomorrow. my classes look like this:

MONDAYS: GUITAR CLASS =D
TUESDAYS: ENGLISH, BIO, HUMAN DEV.
THURSDAYS: ENGLISH, BIO, BIO LAB
FRIDAYS: SPEECH

hopefully my teachers are dope. i KINDA looked at ratemyproffessor.com (which actually helps) to pick out which classes i would take, but i think it worked for me better last semester. i'm excited to start though. me and jay went school supply shopping the other day, bought some ballin' ass school materials hahahahaa. watch out!

BUT THE REAL EXCITEMENT GOIN ON IS RENO THIS WEEKEND FOR EMELENES BIRTHDAY BASH THINGY THANG!!!!! i'm hellllllla excited. road trip with friends is the shits <3 as of now its me, britt, em, boo, des, juice, and i think eric? idk i need to call him sometime this week, but its bout to be craaaaaaaacckin! my parentals are letting me drive my car which is a complete surprise, so i think this'll be the farthest trip for my baby. i'm juiced though, definitely looking forward to this weekend.

other than that, i think that was a good update for you guys, if there's anyone even reading this hahh. its okay, i'm reading it, and that's all that matters. okay, time for me to eat and feel fat! have a good day and be happy! =D

always and fornever, leonard.

this one's for you,

just so you know.
why are you still here? what the fuck.

no matter how much i try to get you out of my mind and my feelings, out of my ENTIRE being, there is always that tiny little speck in the back of my head where you stay posted, what the fuck.

its weird. no scratch that, its a freaking FREAK SHOW, seriously. it's like, you shouldn't be here anymore, it's over. i'm over it, you're over it, the whole world is over it. BUT i guess even with our own lives playing it's own show and the different paths we're taking, it's come to my realization that... i don't think you'll ever disappear, which strangely enough i'm happy knowing that, yet hopeful that you would just vanish off the face of the earth, all at the same time.

you tear me apart towards good and bad, happy and sad, love and hate, SO BASICALLY to the extremes of both sides of the spectrum. i think that's the reason why you've left a mark so deep cause i learned all this shit, the good and the bad of both worlds. you make me the happiest person at one time, but make me wanna strangle you the next. it's been like that, ever since the very beginning, and even now it's still the same.

it doesn't phase as much anymore. in fact, i don't think it bothers me at all. it's just the thought that remains about us that seems to stick with me and comes up in my mind from time to time, once in a blue moon i guess you can say. just the thought of everything you know? it's awkward, definitely, but i don't think i'd want it any other way.

so this is to you, my thoughts about you, dedicated for you - i just had to put it out there. no matter where we end up i have a feeling that you'll always be somewhere in my mind, probably the last nerve in the very VERY back, but there nonetheless. its good to know that, cause i think you deserve to be a part of me no matter what i say to you or to other people about you, or the shit we put each other through, cause i feel that i owe that to you. so, with that said, i love and hate with all my heart and guts, forever and ever.

thanks <3

hi, i'm the new guy =D

SO, i guess this is the part where i introduce myself to the world, not that anyone cares or anything.. BUT hey, i got some free time and a lot i can blabber about so what the hell, might as well make one of these bad bitches, bitches!

anywayys, i'm leonard. the new guy on the "blog block street", whatevahh. hmmm i guess we can start off by getting the boring stuff out of the way? just a little background information thing, whether you know me already or not.

LEONARD MENDOZA AS OF RIGHT NOW: 18, a college boy working two jobs but STILL broke due to unnecessary spending with my fellow broke people, but happy nonetheless. single and sorta-kinda looking, definitely not killing myself trying to find a partner at the moment. i'm a short guy, 5'5" last time i checked? 138.3 pounds, checked it at the gym earlier today so its pretty accurate. OH YEAH, i'm starting this new "gym" thing, which is actually pretty fun, or even like... HELLA fun. nothing big, just trying to get back in shape for you guys ;) hmm let's see, what else. i pretty much started off this new year with a new mentally, fresh and ready to show the world what i've got. scratched off the negative shit off my list and i'm planning on writing positive novels this year, trust me. so yes, i think this was a good start yeah? sorry if i seem kinda noob. this'll probably be the boringest blog i'll ever write so if you thought this was good, there's seriously something wrong with you =P. i'll get use to this after a couple of times me sitting here and thinking what the heck to write. and i'm pretty random when it comes to thoughts so sorry if i talk about one thing then jump to another. ariiight, i guess this is the part when i say goodbye and i'll ttyl? yeah i think it is.

GOODBYE AND TTYL!

things coming up:

1. school asdf;lkj
2. reno trip =D
   
3. work blehhh